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How Do You Deal With A Man Pulling Away?


There is nothing worse than having your man leave you. Men pulling away when they are in love can be confusing.

Whether your man is falling in love with you, or it’s only the very early stages of a relationship and you’re not sure if he is in love with you, a man pulling away is stress.

It doesn’t matter how long he is gone. It hurts.

We are talking about a man who has invested his time, energy and emotions.

It is very painful for him to pull away from you. A void that is difficult to fill is left by his lack of presence.

Why do men leave a relationship? How can you deal with it in the best way you can?

How do you deal with a high value woman?

Let me answer those questions in this article.

Is your man serious about your relationship? You can find out with this quiz.

Why Do Men Really Pull Away

Men pulling away is a topic that my team and I get asked about.

Men will leave you and the relationship. It will happen at some point.

I’ve heard of men who never left a relationship.

That is correct. Men who don’t pull away.

A man who never pulls away is rare.

It is possible that he is in the right place in his relationship timeline when he met you.

It could be due to a variety of factors in their unique relationship.

If a woman says her man never pulls away, it is not necessarily an exception.

The woman doesn’t think he pulls away.

She doesn’t find his actions a threat to her safety if she gets him.

She has a secure attachment so he doesn’t bother her too much.

She might be more balanced in her masculine and feminine energy.

The one perfect thing to say when a man wants space is

Men pulling away from their intimate relationship at some point is an exception to this rule.

Whether a man is in love with you or not, there will come a time when he pulls away.

Men sometimes have to pull away.

This is not about making excuses. He is a masculine soul.

You can find out if your man is emotionally unavailable in the article.

Even if you have no self esteem or no man has ever paid you any attention, you can download the report at no cost.

It is similar to telling the sun not to rise.

Most of the time, women don’t pull away from relationships for the same reasons as men do.

See… the truth is this:

Most men can only take a certain amount of time with you before they need to leave you.

They need to re-engage with their identity through their goals and masculine passions.

When a man is very much in love, he will get to a stage where he needs to perform.

A man who is in love with you can spend more time with you before he leaves.

Each man is unique and each moment is also unique.

It doesn’t mean your man isn’t in love with you.

He needs to pull away when things seem to be going well.

At some point, he realises that he has a responsibility to give to you.

He needs to feel like he’s enough in order to give you something.

He may pull away from his goals, missions and passions to feel like he is enough as a man.

The priority in that case is being worthy.

Think of it. If a man didn’t find his equilibrium again, he wouldn’t be the man he needs to be.

If he couldn’t build his value in order to provide for you, how would he feel?

What are the signs a man is leaving?

He walked away. He starts ignoring you. He starts to invest more time in hobbies, work, and sports. He leaves you on read more than usual, with the exception of when he is very busy. He doesn’t call back after hanging up the phone. He doesn’t respond to calls. He is talking to other women. He becomes more cautious. You know if a guy signs wife is changing mind about divorce is avoiding you.

Remember not to confuse him with having avoidant attachment. The two things are not always connected.

Just because a guy avoids you, doesn’t mean he has an attachment to you. It could be that he doesn’t feel ready to commit to you, or that he’s not ready to be with you.

At some point, your man will pull away.

It is not always a bad thing when he pulls away. In the early stages of a relationship, it is common for your man to leave.

This doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed, it’s the opposite.

When he pulls away, or withdraws from the relationship, is the exact time when you can show your high value as a woman in the relationship.

No man wants to give up his freedom and masculine missions in fear of being pulled back by a woman

Most of us have a tendency to be afraid when he pulls away.

There are some good reasons to do this.

He becomes needy and fearful when he pulls away.

If you act from fear you can strip value from the relationship bank.

There is a chance that you are stripping value from your man and the relationship.

This isn’t something that you should be angry about or scared of.

The truth of how you feel when he pulls away won’t change. It hurts when he leaves.

The pain is real.

Wouldn’t you agree?

You may not say it loud. You can act tough by putting on an “I don’t care” face.

You may get angry. Sad.

You may feel unloved.

He once treated you like a princess, but now you don’t feel that way.

There is an article about when he stops chasing you and being romantic.

Do not make your feelings bad.

The difference between a high value vulnerable woman and a woman who finds it hard to inspire emotional commitment from men is exactly this…

Her ability to sink into her deepest emotions beyond her masks is what makes her unique.

That’s Right… Do NOT Make Your Feelings Wrong.

Something happens inside of us if we become attached to a man or if he has any value to us.

We fear that his withdrawal from the relationship could mean 3 things.

All his resources will go to the other woman.

It is not always true. It happens with a few men. It is less common in a relationship than it is in ours.

This could mean that a woman might not survive if he never comes back.

Let us be honest here. Sometimes the intensity of our feelings can make us feel like we might die, if we have gotten attached to a man.

We try to resist the pain so that we don’t get angry at him. We are acting out of fear.

She might have just realised that she had been used.

She will never see the man again if he got what he wanted and it was only a casual sex situation.

This will help if you think you are in this situation. There are 6 burning signs that he doesn’t want a relationship with you.

The Secret Cost for Women When They Have Casual Sex is a series I have written.

Every masculine man has a specific emotional Trigger that motivates him to want to take care of you, worship you, and deeply commit to you.

How can we show up in a high value way?

…What can we as women do about this?

How can we show up as a high value woman in those fearful times? If you have an anxious attachment style and find a man pulling away, what should you do?

Now, I want you to consider this…

Think about when you are in a relationship.

The stress levels are going up from being too close.

When it comes to emotional bonding, men and women are more likely to be close to each other.

Keep that in mind as I am talking about emotional bonding.

We do feel suffocated at times, and this does not mean that we don’t.

As men get closer in a relationship and things are going well, the levels of the stress hormone in his body go up.

Men tend to want to leave in order to rebuild their testosterone levels.

A lot of stress can be caused by the testosterone levels going down for men with a strong sense of mission.

Let’s think about it from a man’s perspective.

A man can provide and bring resources to the table through his masculine missions.

That is how he gets to be a man.

Your man pulling away could have been intending to do so.

To find out how feminine you are in your core, click here. I designed these questions to show you how much you are living in your feminine energy and what it really means for you.

Your man might have a positive intent.

It is harder for us women to relate to that because we prefer to stay in relationship mode.

When we are living in our feminine energy, we are more likely to feel at home.

From our perspective, we get confused, and we may ask questions from our own feminine brain.

“Why are you pulling away?”

“What’s going on?”

“Do you not LOVE me anymore?”

The problem is that men and women are different.

We’re all human. There are aspects that make us who we are.

There are elements that make us unique.

Most of us women see the world through our own feminine filters.

It is difficult to understand a man’s masculine behavior through our filters.

What is intuitive to a man to a woman is different.

Most women and men are naturally masculine in their core.

I call it masculine or feminine biases when it comes to relationships.

As a feminine woman, you tend to move towards some kind of bonding or attachment in a relationship.

It’s hard to let go of filling up.

It’s different for a masculine man.

I made a table that will help you see the differences between masculine and feminine energy.

The table will help you understand why the man you are with doesn’t want to talk a lot.

It will help you understand why he may not want to be with you forever.

What is important to a man and a woman is not what is important to a woman.

As women, what is intuitive to a man can be completely foreign.

I talked to my husband the other week. It was almost commonsense that he had a breakthrough that was like an absolute “Ah-HAH” for him.

It wasn’t for him, but it was something that was obvious to me as a woman.

I was wondering if you have been living under a rock.

If I brought that up with my girlfriends, they would get it in a heartbeat.

My husband and I have a lot of time for each other. The opposite sex, love and relationships…

We are not the same. It can be surprising or even foreign to me what he sees.

Our feminine meaning makes our pain and suffering worse.

A man pulling away from a relationship doesn’t have to cause a lot of pain.

It can cause difficult emotions.

When a man withdraws, your suffering comes from the meaning you give.

The meaning we give an event changes everything.

A lack of understanding of men is a bad meaning.

It is possible for women to give a man a different meaning, which would lead to a different experience.

(Of course, simpler said than done.)

By understanding men and their masculine world, we are able to create better meaning and have the ability to show up with more self esteem.

The reason you were attracted to that man was his masculine energy, masculine presence and direction.

If you want to know how valuable your man is, read this article.

There are 7 signs that a woman is seen as low value by men. Do you know how to avoid the plague? You can download this report here.

Would you still like him if you had a feminine man?

Let me ask you a few questions to understand why he pulls away.

What would you think about a man who was very emotional?

He was able to cry at the drop of a hat and feel love with you almost every day.

He is so emotional that he is melting. Imagine him relaxing and wanting to talk to you all the time.

What would you think about this man?

I would love if my man did this.

For a couple of days. You will lose attraction for him if you like it or not. You might be so disgusted by him.

Would you rather have a man who is more emotional than you are?

I’m suggesting that a man needs to pull away from you in order to be the man you want to be.

If he didn’t pull away at some point, your relationship would lose attration.

You’d also be much more repelled by him.

The more time you spend together, the more alike you will become, and the less intense the attraction will be over time. That is a topic for another day

The case study shows how Alison went from attracting abusive relationships to learning the skill of weeding out the wrong men.

If he pulls away for more than two weeks, you may wonder if you should take my advice.

The general answer is – no!

A man is pulling away.

There are some obvious reasons women get ghosted.

A man ghosting you means there was no real connection between you and each other.

It means there was never a real relationship.

It could be that he was in love with you.

However, a man pulling away is different.

There is usually some connection to begin with when men leave a relationship.

I recommend you read the article 4 Steps To Stay High Value When He Doesn’t Text or Call to understand more about how to know if he’s sticking around.

The Masculine Feminine is why you have attraction.

You get a chance to see that he is a real man when he pulls away, even if you are scared or confused.

If he was not living in his masculine core, you would lose interest in him.

You won’t be feeling his energy. You no longer feel like you’re stuck with him.

You may feel like you are in a relationship with one of your friends. You don’t want your man to be like your friends.

The reason you were attracted to a man was due to his masculine energy.

His presence, his strength, intelligence, sense of humour, his potential to be a good provider, etc.

When a man behaves differently than we do, we get hurt, confused and worried.

A relationship can feel like a burden to a man.

It doesn’t mean that you are a burden. The emotional bonding in a very committed relationship can feel like a burden.

It is the only thing that makes a man feel alive when he is alone.

How interesting is that?!

What To Do If He Is Pulling Away?

First of all:

Let’s look at this as an opportunity instead of seeing your man pull away.

Let’s look at what you can get from these moments.

You get a chance when your man leaves the relationship.

Grow as a woman, and appreciate his masculine qualities, and show your high value as a woman.

All men want a woman who shows up as high value and a woman who doesn’t judge them for being a man.

It is nice for a man to know that she tries to understand and appreciate his perspective.

He will be inspired to reciprocate because he knows how different you are to other women.

I have put together some special resources for how to stay high value when he leaves.

When your man leaves, what do you want him to do?

If you are in a real relationship with a man, you should know what he wants.

He wants you to believe that he still has you when he comes back to you, and that you aren’t taking your resources to another man.

If you take your resources elsewhere, he may not care if you are dating multiple men and women.

A lot of people don’t like the idea of being there when he returns.

This kind of loyalty is seen as weakness by some.

I can tell you that your loyalty to the right man is not weakness.

That is courage. That is character.

You could lose him if you do the wrong things with him.

This doesn’t mean that you should pretend nothing happened while he left. There are some good reasons to feel sad and cry. Here is why it is ok for women to cry.

It would be a lie to say nothing happened.

Your needs and emotions are still important.

You should not punish him just because you don’t feel vulnerable.

It would break down the trust between you and each other.

The relationship bank is stripped of value.

The stark contrast between actions you take when he pulls away and actions you take when you understand is explained in an Infographic.

If a man has given you reason to trust him, there is no need for him to be punished.

There is no reason for you to leave, with a willingness to give your presence. You don’t have to be a pleaser woman to be with someone. This is about being generous.

If a man has never really invested emotionally in you, and if you have always felt that he didn’t really care about you, then it wouldn’t make sense to be there for him indefinitely.

Don’t you agree?

In that case, you should never wait around.

Don’t be afraid to leave.

If you feel like he is just keeping you around for sex or for his own convenience, then the last thing you should do is spend time with him.

The key is to keep your value if you have established trust with this man.

Don’t use your emotions to punish him, which will strip value from your relationship bank!

The key is keeping your value.

The key is to keep your high value, instead of wallowing in fear.

How do you do that?

If you are in a relationship, you show that you are still loyal to him. You show him that you can be open with him, even if you don’t like him.

Most women don’t show that they will be there for a man when in a relationship.

They use their feelings as a weapon. They think the man should have understood what she was going through while he was away.

Punishing a man didn’t strengthen a relationship. You have to show up low value.

It ruins a man’s trust in you and breaks down yours.

Staying high value also means not giving up on your connection. A man deep down inside is scared because a lot of women push this down and it causes them to shut off.

How much time do you give him before you leave?

Every masculine man has a specific emotional Trigger that motivates him to want to take care of you, worship you, and deeply commit to you.

How much time do you give him?

How much time are you supposed to give him?

How much time you give him is not the answer.

It is about getting feedback and information that you need to make a decision about what to do.

If you are a man’s one and only woman, it will be very clear to you if he wants to invest in you or not.

I don’t think you should wait around forever. It is different to a man’s reproductive timetable.

You need to look out for your own interests.

Don’t wait around and hope he cares.

Don’t be afraid to walk away when it’s clear he wasn’t committed. He never intended to invest in you, so it was clear to you.

Being able to walk away is a part of being a woman.

So don’t be afraid to walk away.

Just say to yourself:

No! This isn’t for me. I am going to take care of myself. I will make space in my life for a man who sees me as his only companion.

Don’t be discouraged if he isn’t committed to you. All will be okay. I know it doesn’t feel right now, but it will all be ok.

There are a lot of men who would be interested in meeting you.

Don’t be a man’s one of many woman again.

If you have a feeling that you may be in his basket, then you need the ability and awareness to make sure that you don’t get stuck in the category of the one of many woman.

You should only be with a man. How you show up is all that matters. I have a program about it. You can check out the book ‘Becoming His One and Only Woman: 5 Secrets to Have Him Fall in Love with You and Be His One and Only’.

Don’t Strip Value From The Relationship Bank

It doesn’t mean to act like you’re all happy when he comes back to connect with you

Staying high value means you don’t lose value in the relationship.

It means not threatening your relationship, cutting him out emotionally or pulling yourself away from it.

You are allowed to be angry. Don’t use it to hurt him or yourself. Feel the feelings. They are trying to tell you something. They are trying to help you.

Staying high value also means not giving up on your connection. A man deep down inside is scared because a lot of women push this down and it causes them to shut off.

Pretending we don’t yearn for him cuts off feminine energy we could give him.

Do you know if this is adding value to the relationship bank.

Is this going to take the value that I have already worked hard for?

How do you convince him that you are still worth it?

First, leave him be.

Let him do what he needs to do.

You can be sad, but not act out of fear.

If you send him a message asking if he should let go of him, he won’t.

It is something that you would need to be aware of. It’s not his thing.

You have to get yourself into a place where you are able to think rationally.

To get to an emotional place, the first thing to do is to breathe and keep breathing, and to go to a safe place and let your feelings be felt.

When you are sure that you feel more empty of your feelings, and you feel a little more empty of the ocean of emotions, you can do something.

You can see this from a different perspective if you ask yourself a different question.

Here are some questions to ask yourself.

Where is he? How do you feel about what he is doing, but where do he want to go? How invested is he in me?

Stay open to the answers Even if you don’t understand it right now, there is a reason for it.

He doesn’t do things for fun. You don’t do things for money. If you assume that he is always trying to make you suffer, then you should not jump the gun.

Some men try to make you suffer, but most men won’t do that to you.

They are just looking out for themselves.

I want you to remember that the point is not to just leave him and that is it.

You can tell any man that will capture his attention, make him curious and make him hang onto every word you say. It’s like magic in a non-needy way.

Don’t Punish Him & Shut Off To Him.

The goal is to give him his freedom while still loving him.

Loving him does not mean that you commit yourself to him blindly. Love is about being open.

Yes, you are allowed to have feelings.

If it means you cry when you see him, be prepared to own your feelings.

You need to be the most comfortable with your own feelings first if he is not comfortable with them.

If a man doesn’t seem to be able to deal with you, here’s what you can do.

Tell him that you are sad and that he has done nothing wrong, and that all will be okay.

I need to tell you that you are allowed to hate him, miss him, love him, hate yourself, and want to give up when he leaves.

The vulnerability of your feelings is what matters. Allow it to talk to you. Let it speak to you.

It is okay to experience all of that.

If you want to make him feel bad about himself or the relationship, take the high road and be a high value woman.

It’s called stripping value from your bank.

What if you have a committed relationship with someone?

If he comes back to the relationship, be open with him.

Does that mean pretend nothing happened? Nope.

Does that mean acting happy? Nope.

Staying connected to him even if he isn’t doing what you want him to do is what it means.

It means opening your heart and mind and connecting with him.

This doesn’t mean that you are being used by your man. It means that you care about him enough to give him his freedom and not withdraw from him.

When you are open to connecting with him, you are more likely to find out if he is the right man for you.

It’s a good idea to remind yourself to breathe and breathe through fear in order to complete this step.

There is an article on how to make him chase you.

If you ever get stressed out…

If all of this makes you feel overwhelmed, then ask yourself:

Do I really want to be with another woman? Do I want to be with a man?

I want you to remember that this is your chance to bring you and your man closer, to cultivate more emotional attraction, and to deepen the connection and commitment.

If you show up as a high value woman and give a man his gift of freedom, he will come back to the relationship stronger with more to offer.

Does that make sense?

If you want a deeper understanding of how you can show up as a high value woman when your man pulls away, then I have the perfect thing for you…

A guide on how to stay high value when he leaves.

You can learn more about how to stay high value when your man leaves.

Frequently Asked Questions About Why Men Pull Away

How long does it last?

It depends on how attached he was to you before he pulled away.

For some men, it could take a month or more. It could be a day for some.

The reason you are asking this question is because it is hard on you when he leaves.

You need to address this problem. If you are finding it hard to be in a relationship, the best thing to do is to find out if you are the only woman or one of many.

You can’t be in any of these categories to a woman.

He will always come back to you if you are his only female partner. He will attempt in the afterlife.

He will only return when he wants easy sex and easy company.

Do Guys Pull Away When They Like You?

They don’t from a guy’s point of view. Yes, from a woman’s perspective.

Let me explain.

A guy will not pull away when he likes you. He wouldn’t think of himself as pulling away.

He will pull away because women tend to be more emotional at home.

They need attachment more than men do because they are women.

A woman’s sense of self worth and fulfilment is related to her relationship.

It doesn’t for men.

Men have to make their own stuff. They have to feel male.

Just because a guy goes quiet on you while on his fishing trip doesn’t mean he’s pulling away from you, it just means that in order to successfully hunt, he needs to block out all other demands on his energy.

Why He Pulls Away After Getting Close?

In order to get back to their masculine core, men need to do this. They do it to feel the same.

How Do Guys Act When They Pull Away?

They act distant. If he is investing in you less, that’s a good sign.

Do Guys Pull Away When They Catch Feelings?

They don’t know what to do with their feelings. When a guy catches feelings, they can mess up their plans.

They didn’t plan to have a relationship in their life, much less fall in love with a woman.

They may pull away in an attempt to reexamine and consider things because he doesn’t have a sense of certainty and direction.

When they like you, why do guys leave?

They have life plans and mission because they like a girl. They need to pull away in order to find their equilibrium, as they may not feel like themselves anymore.

How do you react when a guy leaves?

Don’t do what most girls do…this is what most girls do.

  • It is a bad idea to act cool.
  • Punish him.
  • He will get a lot of anger and resentment.
  • Send him multiple texts or emails.

You want to be in his shoes and feel what he’s like. If the guy had no attachment to you in the first place, then he has the right to leave.

If you guys are already dating, he might be pulling away because he wants to feel like a man again.

There are 7 signs that a woman is seen as low value by men. Do you know how to avoid the plague? You can download this report here.

How do you let him go when he leaves?

He will never come back because he is pulling away. He will return if he is attached to you.

If you know that you and him were never serious, then you should let him go. You will pay a higher price later on if you ignore the truth.

Maybe he was just in it for the convenience because you think a guy likes you and wants you. If you want to know if a guy is serious about you or not, try to test them.

You can tell any man that will capture his attention, make him curious and make him hang onto every word you say. It’s like magic in a non-needy way.

Why You Should Never Chase After A Man?

Because chasing is worth something. The person who is being chased is usually the one who is out of balance.

If you want to become a woman of value to him, you need to know how to turn the tables and have him value you so much that he wants to chase you and hold on to you.

You can learn how to make him chase you.

Will Leaving Him Alone Make Him Come Back?

Not sure. If there wasn’t enough emotional connection between you and the guy, they became more distant.

It’s better to playfully reach out. Key word: playful. If you bring value to the interaction, it might work out better than if you just pull away harder.

Every masculine man has a specific emotional Trigger that motivates him to want to take care of you, worship you, and deeply commit to you.

Why does he pull away?

Strong benefits him. How does it help him?

He gets the attention and company he wants from you. If a guy is giving attention, women will respond well.

He pulled away after coming on strong.

  • It makes sense for him to return to his life now that he has what he wanted.
  • When he regains his masculine equilibrium, he could be back.
  • He pulls back in order to conserve his energy because he may not have gotten what he wanted.
  • He’s a pick up artist or player.

There are a number of reasons why men pull away.

How do you get your power back when he leaves?

Easy. You focus on these two things:

Whether you are in the one and only or the one of many woman basket. There is a strength and power in knowing where you stand.

What To Say When He Is Pulling Away?

If you are in his presence, you can make fun of him. Banter to bring him home. If you lead with playful banter, he will feel more at home with you.

The best thing about banter is that it opens the door to deeper discussions. How to use playful banter

Banter can be useful when you are not in his presence or in a long-distance relationship.

That is from me. I am sending you my love wherever you are.

I’ll talk to you soon.

See other related articles…

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